


Wonder of Blunder(clan)

by Hungry_AloeLeaf



Category: Warriors - Erin Hunter
Genre: Alternate Universe - Human, Crime Fighting, DUDE HOLD ON HOL ON HOL ON, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Humor, Humor, Ice Cream, M/M, Original Character(s), Superheroes, Supervillains, Whitefang really has to work on being a villian dude, Why is there KETCHUP in an ice cream shop?!!?!?, and Tremble should stop lying about his name, i guess, i'm confident about the humor this time so, my ocs are superheroes, the cats are human heroes, you know me
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-17
Updated: 2020-07-17
Packaged: 2021-03-05 00:01:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,656
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25341358
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hungry_AloeLeaf/pseuds/Hungry_AloeLeaf
Summary: The exciting day of the Blunderclan superheroes, and one supervillianlong live the CHAOS SQUAD!
Relationships: Hailstorm (OC)/Herbsmoke (OC), Trembling Duck (OC)/Whitefang (OC)
Kudos: 1





	Wonder of Blunder(clan)

“If you think that you can steal from the Blundertown bank and get away with it, taste these!” Herbstar performed the most perfect somersault (not committed without some serious midnight practicing) and flung the plants in the villain’s direction. “FEEL THE HERB, BABY!”

Both stood motionless as the leaves and flowers drifted gently to the ground. Whitefang cackled evilly.

“ _HA!_ If _you_ think your stupid little friends and your idiotic little team will hinder me from unleashing my dastardly master plan – then you are sorely mistaken, Herbsmoke. For I, the notorious… the notorious… the notorious _Rouge_ -” Whitefang continued, clearly coming up with the name on the spot. “Shall succeed in taking over this country, before seizing the world in my grasp!”

“Seriously? That’s the evil plan you’re going with?” Hailstar stalked up from behind Herbstar, pausing to glare at the outlaw. “A lot of evil people are ALREADY ruling the world, dude. You should really find something else to fill your empty life with.”

“I agree.” Jadedstar slammed down on the ground beside them, shadowy hands swimming with power. “How about we fill this dude’s life with some good old-fashioned PAIN?!”

“Sounds good to me, Baby Jade,” A grin spread over Herbstar’s face. “Let’s see how this guy likes the mouthfeel of some salad!”

“Salad?!” Whitefang screeched, gripping his long canines protectively. “NO! The leaves get all yucky and skewered on my sensitive teeth… plus, they’re really gross…”

After discovering a pretty good weakness, all three heroes succeeded in pinning the villain down, though barely. Whitefang obtained tremendous superstrength from the blast that had caused his two tusks to enlarge and other weird stuff to go down, so pinning him down certainly wasn’t easy. However, eventually, with Hailstar’s hail powers and Jadedstar’s shadowy punches and Herbstar’s threats to make Whitefang eat ALL of his vegetables, they had him on the ground by his shoulders, Herbstar sticking leaves on the seven-inch fangs despite Whitefang’s agonized yelps.

“That should keep him down for a good while.” Hailstar tied a scarf around the writhing villain’s wrists, binding his hands together. “Baby Jade, call a buggywagon or whatever to take him to jail. Our work is done-”

_CHAOS SQUAD!_

_Minus Bubblestar because SHE’S SICK AND COULDN’T COME TO WORK TODAY!_

Big bubbly letters appeared on the screen, accompanied by the words being sung by an offscreen voice.

“Aw. I wish I had a cool name and song.” Whitefang gave a little pout.

_BUT HE’S LONELY AND DOESN’T HAVE FRIENDS TO MAKE A TEAM OR DUO WITH! MAYBE HE SHOULD STOP BEING A VILLIAN AND DO SOMETHING LIKE… I DON’T KNOW, SOMETHING HE LIKES!_

“Well, fair enough.”

\---

“ _Kick em and rage em until they can’t take it no more! Be sitting ready when they bust into the door! Wish I wasn’t sick and then I could go protectin’ but I’m sitting on the couch, being sick and still reppin’_ -” Bubblestar set down the video game controller when the other heroes burst into the headquarters. “H-hey, y’all! How’d it go?”

“Pretty nice. The bank’s doors got busted though, hopefully they have insurance or something.” Jadedstar deactivated his shadowy powers, yawning. “Barely had to do any work. Maybe it’s just me, but these villains are getting weaker and weaker each time.”

“Not to mention weirder. Dude had teeth this long,” Herbstar gestured how far the fangs went. “And these pink eyes! You should have seen him, Bubbles! It was so cool! Aw man, I should’ve taken a picture to show you…”

“As weak or weird as these bad guys may appear to be, we need to constantly be on our guard. It’s our obligations as-”

_THEEEEEEE_

_CHAOS SQUAD_

_PROTECTERS OF BLUNDERCLAN!_

“How come only she can do that?!” Jadedstar clawed at the empty air to clear the bubbly letters. “Anyways, I’m like… just going to chill for the rest of the day. Forget these villain dudes for now, because clearly, they don’t have their own priorities straight. See you guys after I take my shower.”

“I’ll get started on dinner! How do you guys feel about good ol’ plants?” Herbstar produced a carrot out of thin air. “ _Carroot a la carrot_ soup is bound to be served in a hour!”

“Do what you want, Herbie.” Bubblestar muttered, before glancing down at her phone. “Yes, that’s a large with pepperoni, bell peppers, and mushrooms. Yep, the-”

_CHAOS SQUAD!_

“-headquaters. In twenty minutes? Thanks.” She set the phone to the side, screwing in her earbuds again. “ _Turn up homie, volume to eleven! I steal the beat and them badgers be like ‘felon’! Make the dance floor quake, all the walls goin’ shake, when they pick up my juicy watermelon!_ ”

“…Carrots are great for the eyes, but I need something for my ears after listening to THAT original nonsense.” Hailstar rolled her eyes, glancing over at Herbstar. “Okay, salad-powers. Let’s go make some dinner for ourselves.”

“Dinner? With Hailstorm?” A wicked grin flicked over Herbstar’s lips. “Sounds like a date to me!”

“WHAT?! N-NO, hold on now-” But Herbstar was already skipping to the kitchen, singing.

“ _Haily wants to go on a date with me!_ ”

The veteran hero of the team sighed deeply. How could she be the one to break that bright, happy little heart? To wipe that gorgeous smile off his face? To silence that beautiful song that made her stomach flutter?

_One had to be a true villain to do that._

\---

“I’m a joke of a villain… super strength and long teeth. Nearly ALL supers have super strength…” Whitefang glared down at his sore wrists, hugging himself tightly.

After beating up the authorities, he wasn’t quite sure where he was going. But not to jail.

Not again, anyways…

He wound up in an ice cream shop, and with the few dollars the police hadn’t managed to find tied behind his fangs, paid for a large portion of ice cream. He plopped down in a corner booth ignoring the citizen edging away from him as he pondered on how to eat the ice cream. He’d already had sensitive teeth before, but since the day he’d gotten his fangs, they’d become even more vulnerable to hot and cold foods – even touch sometimes. 

“Okay, eating ice cream isn’t hard. You’re a big, scary bad guy. You can do this.”

He scooped up a portion of the ice cream with a hand, and opened his mouth wide enough so the treat wouldn’t graze his teeth. His red, sore wrists shook as he carefully, slowly guided the spoon into his mouth. Hey, eating it this way wasn’t so bad…

“WOO BOY!” The loud yell was accompanied by a loud slam.

Whitefang screeched in alarm, hand stuffing the spoon into his mouth. The ice cream melted, the cold swimming directly onto his molars. The villain muffled his agonized yowls of pain with a hand.

The shots of cold and painful tinges faded from his body soon after, but it didn’t change of painful it had been. The spoon in his hand snapped, and he shoved out of the booth, glaring at the figure who had so rudely burst through the front door, ruining his ice cream experience.

Sensitive teeth or not, the adrenaline now coursing through his veins would make this killing bite a lot easier for him…

The man in the center of the shop turned at an angle where Whitefang could spot the golden swirl mark on his pant leg before he got too close.

A… a hero. A hero, at the ice cream shop he’d been going to since he’d been six?! He’d never seen a hero in here before! Surely he was here to recapture him!

Without much warning, the villain gripped a table with a fist and heaved it into the air, causing the family eating at it to scream and charge out of the restaurant, along with most of the other patrons. The cashier thumped her chest determinedly, remaining rooted to the spot.

“If I die today… then at least I died going down on my ship – the best ice cream shop I’ve ever been blessed to work in.”

“YOU’RE SUCH A SUCK-UP, SUSAN!” Another one of the employees screeched, tearing past her. “Wait for meeeeee!”

“Let us finish your business here, hero.” Whitefang mercilessly leaped into the air, raising the table high to smash the superhero with. “You won’t take me without a getting a bite!”

The hero took a step back, blue eyes fearfully widening.

“What did I ever do to you?!”

“YOU RUINED MY ICE CREAM EATING EXPERIENCE!” Whitefang’s pink eyes glowed blood red. “PREPARE TO DIE NOW, HERO!”

“Waitwaitwaitwaitwait, please!” The hero stuck out a protective hand before Whitefang chucked the table. “Please don’t! I don’t have any powers; I’m just training with them!”

“…And how am I supposed to believe you?” Whitefang snarled, sore wrists struggling to uphold the entire table.

“I’m not using powers now, am I?! I’m pretty sure I’d try to use them to protect my own life right now!”

“None the matter. Any hero is my enemy.” Plus, if he killed him, he may achieve some footing as a villain! “Say goodbye… what’s your name?”

The hero narrowed his eyes, fists curling. With a flick, his hair tie fell to the ground, and the flowing gray-brown strands fell to his knees. Whitefang fell back with the table when the shorter man plowed into him, causing the table to crash through the wall.

Whitefang shielded himself from the flurry of surprisingly powerful punches with his arms. The hero certainly had no super strength or any other perceivable super abilities, but he was tenacious. Fierce. There was a spark in the blue eyes that Whitefang himself had never seen before, so determined and fiery it made him stagger back at the realization that the mortal wouldn’t quit.

 _And he didn’t._ They continued to spar, meeting blows with blows, and it all continued for three hours.

Perhaps that was his superpower. The stubbornness, the willpower to keep going. Whitefang could tell that the human’s body was exhausted, screaming for pause with each punch, kick, and blow the hero delivered but never getting a break. With his super strength, Whitefang was only faring a bit better, but that didn’t mean he himself couldn’t succumb to the exhaustion, especially having been in a previous fight that day.

Soon enough, both were slumped on the floor, granting each other weak slaps and kicks.

“Had enough?” The hero breathed out, chest heaving as he struggled for breath.

“Never,” Whitefang hissed in reply, now too tired to even attempt to slap the enemy. “You surrender… surrender... now, while you still live…”

“You first…”

Whitefang harshly sighed, flopping onto his back.

“This is just hopeless! All I want to be is a real villain, and I can’t beat any of you (except the police, I guess) but I can’t even beat an unarmed MORTAL!” The villain ran a hand through his sweat-soaked white hair, rolling onto his side. “Maybe I’m not cut out for this just because I have big teeth and I’m strong… maybe Lancelotfeather is right about me.”

“Lancelotfeather? The old medic for the league of heroes? You _know_ him?” The hero’s blue eyes, once filled with stubbornness, were shining with excited stars as he drew himself up. “He was the one who gave Herbstar that crazy juice that made him crazy for a long time and nobody knew what was wrong with him and we all thought he was a crazy jerk until Lancelotfeather got caught and was kicked out and had a warrant for his arrest but he drugged the police by throwing this weird power into their eyes and then he ran off and you _know_ him?”

“You know _about_ him?” Whitefang sat up a little, red eyes shifting back to their dark pink. “He… he made me who I am. He caused the chemical explosion. And… he’s sort of… my mentor.”

“WHOA! That guy is a chemistry genius! Lucky you, you probably get to learn about cool science-y stuff where you blow up things! All my mentor does is say I have to focus on my _spirit_ , and she doesn’t even let me train with _weapons_ ,” The hero rolled his eyes, crossing his arms over his chest. “I just do a lot of stretching and working out and punching and kicking at bags and not doing any real fighting stuff! It’s so boring!”

“Boring?! Hey, I’d rather be in your shoes… Lance,” Whitefang sighed heavily. “He tells me all the time that he owns me because of the explosion. That I’m not worth anything. That I’m just a big, trifling baby who prances around with my powers using them all willy-nilly. He rambles on and on about how worthless I am and useless science stuff I wouldn’t care about. But he’s my mentor, so I just deal with it.”

“Huh. I don’t care if he was my mentor or not, I’d kick him in the behind.” The human then shrugged. “I mean, I can’t really do that with Hailstar, but yeah. Wouldn’t sit up somewhere and let some old dude, no matter how great he is in the world of science, to call me useless and stuff. What sort of right does he have?!”

Whitefang blinked at the hero in surprise, before smirking. Wouldn’t it be satisfying to see Lancelotfeather wailing for help at the hands of this guy?

“What… what’s your name again?”

The hero seemed a little taken aback by the question. His once confident gaze flickered down to the tiles, and he coughed awkwardly.

“Um… uh… Tremble? Yeah, Tremble! Because all of my enemies tremble before me, of course…”

“I’m Whitefang.”

“Nice to… fight you, I guess.” Tremble nervously chuckled at the cashier after giving their partially destroyed surroundings a glance. “And I’m sorry about ruining your ‘ice cream eating experience’.”

Whitefang’s chest warmed when the blue eyes glowed at him hopefully.

“It’s fine… may have overreacted a bit about that…” The white-haired man chuckled. “Thanks for listening.”

“No problem!”

They recovered on the floor for thirty minutes before ordering two more servings of ice cream from the one remaining employee. Both squished into a booth, discussing family, extreme mentors, ice cream…

And when he saw those blue eyes glowing up at him, Whitefang smiled, hugging himself. Starclan, there was a warm tingle going through him and the cold wasn’t even getting at his teeth this time.

Maybe this was what it feel like to fit in? He didn’t feel too cold from sensitive teeth, he didn’t feel uncomfortable, there was no pang of hurt whenever Lance called him a name, there was no feeling of how incomplete and young he was as a villain-

Tremble yawned softly, leaning on Whitefang’s shoulder.

“So. Just making sure… we’re in a little truce right now, right?” The hero looked up at Whitefang curiously before his blue eyes narrowed defensively. “Right?”

And Whitefang nodded. Because this was the best he’d felt in a while.

Because maybe he’d just made his first real friend in this big, big city of Blunderclan.

The Blunderclan that is protected. The Blunderclan that somehow manages to contain all of the chaos of-

_THE CHAOS SQUAD!_

_AND WHITEFANG AND HIS NEW BEST FRIEND TREMBLING D-_

"DON'T SAY MY REAL NAME DAMMIT!" The hero threw a bottle of ketchup at the ceiling. He then grinned nervously at Whitefang. "Heh heh..."

But Whitefang was much too happy about having a part in the cool song. So, at the end of the day, yes, everything was alright. The bank had some sort of insurance, the-

_CHAOS SQUAD!_

-had pizza, and Whitefang felt more comfortable in his own skin than he ever had before. And that, dear citizens, that, is the wonder of Blunderclan and its occupants.

One day, we will see what else the wonderful city has in store. But next time, dear citizens... next time.

**Author's Note:**

> DUDE whenever I write about them OCs, I feel GREAT. I feel like I can write. I feel like I can do anything in the world  
> plus  
> I love this superhero AU! I love it! It's so fun! At first, I would try to do superhero stuff with canon characters and it didn't feel... natural but now  
> THIS?!!?!?! This felt so right
> 
> Constructive criticism is certainly welcome! Hopefully you enjoyed reading this little superhero mess


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